Somewhat Against My Better Judgement...

... but in accordance with the wishes of those involved, I here transcribe the results of last night's game of Consequences. Yes, that favourite game of Surrealists, Dadaists and slightly tipsy authors that involves everybody filling in the nouns and adjectives of a generic paragraph. The catch is, after adding one word or phrase, you fold the paper so your contribution can't be read and pass it to the person on your left. Yes, this is what I get up to at parties.

The scary thing for me is not how many of them make a strange kind of sense, but that when asked to come with a male name, two of the group chose Sebastian.

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Munificent Daniel met deliquesant Lisa at dawn.
He said, "I am an avant-garde artist."
She said, "Yes, but that's what happens when you make a goose wear a straw hat."
And so they moved in together until the quarantine was over.

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Deranged Cynthia met attractve Eurydiche at the bottom of Lake Burley Griffin.
She said, "Give me some of that!"
She said, "I too am a hen-teaser."
And the world is not yet prepared for what happened after that.

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Terrible Rupert met cthonic Christopher within the heart of darkness.
He said, "Want a nice cup of tea?"
He said, "Oh, I don't know. Why not!" he replied.
They then proceeded to develop sever psoriasis.

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Valuable John met lascivious Boris at a coffee shop.
He said, "Never send to know for whom the bell tolls."
He said, "Duck off you dirty old bastard!"
And so it did come to pass, that the man came first and the woman came last.

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Sleazy Sebastian met grammatical Mathilda in a laboratory.
He said, "Hello Sparky!"
She answered with a heavy sigh.
And the heat death of the universe was greatly accelerated.

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Dolorous Elric met retrograde Joan dangling from Centrepoint Tower.
He said, "I think you're wearing my hat."
She said, "Where's the cheesecake?"
Which only goes to show that our desires and our needs are seldom the same.

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Winsome Sebastian met dead Draconis inside the museum.
He said, "Unfortunately, there's a radio attached to my brain."
He said, "It's an open wound, and I'm not closing it for anyone."
And in the distance, a gunshot could be heard.

--

Good times, my friend, good times.